


The sky is so beautiful (and the ground so harsh)

by Give_Me_A_Karking_KitKat



Category: Scarlet and Ivy Series - Sophie Cleverly
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Child Neglect, Dark, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, In which Mr Grey has fucked his children up much worse than he assumes, Intrusive Thoughts, Scarlet Grey has Anxiety, Scarlet Grey has anger issues, Scarlet is guilty but not remorseful, Set before the first book, Suicidal Thoughts, Thoughts of Self-harm, Violent Thoughts, and there's a world of difference between the two, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:42:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27313525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Give_Me_A_Karking_KitKat/pseuds/Give_Me_A_Karking_KitKat
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	The sky is so beautiful (and the ground so harsh)

She can't sleep. Violet pushed her buttons and grinned like she _knew,_ and it scared her. Her skin thrums with something uneasy, restless, angry, and every toss and turn made her feel one inch closer to exploding. So she's up on the roof.

The stars are beautiful tonight, Scarlet notes, absently. The roof is cold, yes, and it's rather too late to be out, but Scarlet would rather be up here than in her dorm, where Violet can question and needle her, making her frazzled and frustrated and furious. Violet is like her own personal demon, and Scarlet hates her and her stupid, smug face so much. She hates how she feels entitled to Scarlet's things, because Scarlet is poorer than her and therefore lesser than her. She hates how she doesn't even try to hide it, how she flaunts it clear as day, and how the teachers don't even _pretend_ to care. She is so burningly _angry,_ because Violet invades her privacy and not even Ivy was allowed to read her diary.

God, Ivy. Scarlet has betrayed her and she doesn't even know it, sends letters full of innocence like she does not understand the reason why Scarlet made it and she did not, like she is not aware of how much smarter she is than Scarlet. And Scarlet - Scarlet can believe it. Ivy has never been very good at valuing herself, ever since their father stopped valuing them, and Edith started making jabs. Scarlet had had to protect her from that witch. Had had to make sure Ivy at least somewhat understood that Edith was lying, because Edith is smiles and laughs and poison, a slow painful kind that made Ivy smaller and smaller. And Scarlet knows they are better than that, are made for more than that - only, it seems, she has left Ivy all alone to fend for herself. 

But she **had** to. She couldn't keep letting her twin drag her down, not when father wouldn't give them the time of day and she felt like she was on fire every time Edith made a snide remark or made them do the cleaning or tore Ivy down (or hit her, but she carefully does not think about that, does not think about how, in those moments, something truly terrifying and near impossible to control reared its head and told her to hit back). She had to leave - surely Ivy will see that, once she sets her free from their Aunt's?

Except Scarlet's not sure she will. Because Ivy, for all she is quiet and whimpy and in need of protection (and she left her to protect herself, and Ivy doesn't know how to because Scarlet has - had - always done that for her) holds grudges like it is a secret skill. She remembers every last slight against herself (and if Scarlet asked, she knows the list against their father would be dreadfully, awfully, long, so she doesn't. Ignorance is bliss, and all that) and Scarlet is supposed to be the one person who doesn't hurt her like that. At least, not on purpose (and it wasn't on purpose so much as a by product of her plan, but she knew it would hurt Ivy all the same. She knew, and she did it anyway). She's done it on accident before, but she was never supposed to do it on anything akin to purpose.

And Scarlet has broken that trust.

She needed to. She had to. But she doesn't know how to explain that to Ivy. 

Scarlet doesn't know how to explain to her that sometimes, she burns like she is burning _out_. That there is a desperate hunger clawing under her skin, demanding she do something, _anything,_ so that father will look at her - them - again. That if she doesn't do something father's gaze will glaze right over her like everyone else's. Ivy, at least, has her smarts going for her - or had, Scarlet supposes, now she has ruined that too. She didn't mean to. But she had to. And Ivy won't understand.

Scarlet sits on the roof in the cold and the dark and burns, like a fire burnt down to its last embers. She burns because her teeth are too sharp and she cannot tell Ivy the truth without biting her tongue. She burns because her skin is pulled too tight and she can't tell Ivy without springing that tension like a trap. She burns because something not quite human, not quite right, strains in her chest with the urge to do something, anything, everything, to get her father to _look at her again._

And sometimes, that not quite human urge deep in her chest grows and growls and spits, wildly out of control, and she considers doing something truly insane just to get him to look her in the eyes, for **once.** If getting into a private school on a scholarship as one of the poorest girls there isn't enough to get him to take his fucking eyes off of Edith for more than a minute, she just needs to do something bigger. Better. Louder. 

Except she doesn't know what that would be, and by the time she is famous it will be too late (for what, she isn't sure of, but she just knows it _will_ ). So. So. She just — it just needs to be big, right? And noticable? And she can do that. She can absolutely do that, but – she wants him to look at her **now**. And. So. So sometimes the little feral thing in her chest screams for blood. The blood of the people that hurt her, sometimes. _Her_ blood, more often. Because if she's hurt, surely he will pay attention to her, right? Because her father cares. He does. (Ignorence is bliss is a mantra that spins around in her brain far too much for her to believe it to be true, but — she has to have _something_ to cling on to.)

So, sometimes, when she wants to snap and snarl and hiss at Violet, at Penny, at Edith, like a house cat gone feral, it suggests she do crazy things. It tells her to bite them. It tells her to rip out all of Violet's lovely hair and carve the smirk out of Penny's face and shove her fucking stepmother down the goddamned fucking stairs.

It tells her to bite her hands until she bleeds. To cut her arms until she is as damaged outside as in. It tells her to jump off the roof a lot.

Which is probably why it's not wise to keep coming up here.

Still, Scarlet stays.


End file.
